I've welcomed spontaneity into my life.
Remember the guy contacting me on the internet?
I really tried to scare him away. Really!
Nevertheless the third newest email in my mailbox is from Ryan Air.
Something about a confirmation for ordering a ticket to Spain. He completely ignored how scary I was. Pulling me closer and closer. In Danish there is a joke that begins in this way. Somebody calls you over and when you get there they say; "this is how you pull a codfish to shore." And you feel like a moron.
Maybe they have it in Spain/ England as well. He is from both places. And on Friday, on Placa Catalunya when we see each other for the first time, he will use this ridiculous phrase.
And I've had 6000 parents this week. All trying to advice me. To be careful. Not to go. To go and enjoy. To think twice. Some more eager than others.
This started to annoy me. I am like a stubborn child, who wants to decide for myself. My ex and I parted for the second time because of this. Hmmm... maybe it's the 34th time? I ignored them. And followed my heart. This guy did a hell of a job and yesterday I told my sister that I might be in love. Even without meeting him. It's crazy. I said it myself. But I suppose you can explain it by looking at how children are having imaginary friends. Same reason. Same sense of reality.
But now I don't know. Something changed yesterday. As if I noticed how empty our foundation for feeling like we've felt was. I am not desperate. I don't even want a boyfriend right now. He just got me thinking a lot. And in the end... feeling. Nice.
Still haven't decided. Why be too rational? ;)
Rebecca
1 comment:
Something else.
When truth turn into lies it becomes contradictory in itself. As a recipient or a provider a haze makes it nearly impossible to distinguish desire from deceibt. The intensity of the emotional opacity of your writings astonish me in welcoming spontaneity to questioning rationality whilst learning to believe, sense or even trust the voice of your own heart. A true dilemma in which yearning to makes sense of it all supresses what will set you free.
Spontaneity: Is the allure of the taking larger than the price you know you will have to pay?
Something else.
peace
morsi
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