Limitations is a bird

Limitations is a bird.
Put it in a cage and it will stop singing.
Free it and it will take you where ever you want to go.

Rebecca

My Suddenly appearing Manifesto

In life nothing is right, nor wrong. It is what ever you want it to be. If you notice some signs on your way it is because you want to see them. For whatever you are focusing on you will see everywhere. That is why you have to be very, very sure that what you are looking at is where your real needs are being fulfilled. Where you are looking is where you will be heading. The only question is if you’re going to be around to see it happen. Or if you got distracted on the way and started looking in a different direction. Be sure, be focused, be there.

Rebecca

Apples and Berries

Girl walking on a small, grassy path on her way home from the woods. Five apples in her left hand, pressed against her belly not to drop them, one last apple in the other, also filled with blackberries. A larger road runs through the landscape under her, busy, fast, heavy with trucks and shiny new cars, going, going. "Silly people", she mumbles. "Where are you off to? Back and forth, forth and back... every day. What you're looking for is back there", turning her head towards the forest, where she found the sweet apples and the berries not yet discovered by the birds. "Go home to your family. Kiss your wife. Play with your children. If you haven't got any of that, go to your animals. Watch the horses on the field, pet your cats, go for a long walk with your dog. And if you haven't got any of that either... God help you."


I'm thinking about going to Africa. They know the deal. They have to. Because they can't run away from home like us in Denmark. Both because they have no car to take them and because they don't have anywhere to go. The family is near. Why go?
I would like to study the life they have. The nature that must affect them a lot. I would like to go...

.Rebecca.

Good Stuff

I just realised how tough it is for me to write about happiness. Im not used to it. For the last six years I've kept a diary and half of that time I wrote in it every morning. 3 full pages in hand. It was a part of a course to free my creative spirit. And it worked. It is one of the best periods in my life. Except for the fact that when the book ended (like an exercise book) it quickly went back to normal. And normal was usually the same as worrying. Complaining. Being stuck. Or maybe that just happened on the way. So for the last 3-4 years I've mainly been writing about problems, issues, worries, tasks, feelings I couldn't work out and so on. Mainly because I left the blank sheets to themselves when I felt good. Why waste time writing about feeling good, when all you want to do is dance, sing, kiss or talk? I wondered. 

Having these conversations on paper with myself worked very well for me if I wanted to get over it. It still does. But my diary is getting lonely. The reason is written in the beginning of this post. 

What to write? 

Here I am! I feel great! I smile all the time. I wear turquoise and vermillion colors, dresses and skirts, funny jewelry and I shower at least once a day. On that same day I laugh 10 times  as a minimum even though I spent most time by myself. I dance, make moves and scream, joke and chat to my cats, love them, these little breathing, cuddling creatures. I call members of my family and tell them how much I love them and I started jogging again. 

(Hey that wasn't so hard!)

What is the reason? What? 

First of all it isn't A reason. Because that implies that if you take away the reason, I would go back to complaining about the past in my diary! It makes me feel safe. I can go on being happy no matter what happens because of what's changed. 

So what's changed?

Everything really. I just started being happy. And I can't seem to stop! Sometimes life suggest a reason for me to do just that, but I really don't take it seriously. I just keep on smiling. Shrug. And make a joke. 

It started when my ex left the country. Don't get me wrong. He's a wonderful person. But I got into the habbit of feeling sorry for myself. Waiting for the right time. Putting the responsibility on other shoulders than my own. And he was just there. I somehow attached feeling like that to being with him. 

When he left it was easy. I had so much fun. And it just continued... It seems like this: when you feel good about yourself, your life, good things are happening. So a lot of good things just fell down upon me. The people I meet are great, the ones I already know are fantastic, I got a great job (found a better one, so the crying lady is now left to her own tears)  I even got a new, awesome boyfriend, who gives me excuses to travel a lot and then this... I'm feeling like a singer! I'm unstoppable - so productive, am creating songs, lyrics, melodies every single day. It's a piece of cake. 

All these things is just results of being happy. But they also make me even more happy. 

Some of the results deserved a blog just for themselves. I called it www.aroomformusic.blogspot.com. And that's just the beginning. 

Rebecca

The Outcome

I don't have much to say besides what the music tells you. 

I have been busy. On the right, above TODAY'S FASCINATIONS, is parts of the outcome. 

The inspirations is yet to be revealed. 

Didn't know it could be so exciting to be 27 years old!

Rebecca

My February Promise

It seems something is forming itself into a desire. Just for me. How appropriate. 

I've collected the frames for my new life in Aarhus, which means I have a job. 

But what a job... My boss and my "customer" is a handicapped woman in a wheel chair, who's unable to yell at people, because her speech mechanism is damaged as well. She still knows how to express herself, though and leaving work today I felt very uplifted because she didn't cry - not even once. 

The other day I was cleaning her windows and I said to myself, "Rebecca... You better start taking yourself seriously soon." 

And that's when I started forming this desire.

Because I don't need a lot of money. No car and no fancy place to live - my single room is perfect as long as it has atmosphere. I don't need make-up, fashionable new clothes every month or weekly brunch-meetings with my friends in the city. It's very appropriate, because my happiness doesn't let me go in a wealthy direction. 

I'm going to give music a chance. It's got to be possible. It has got to be possible for someone who wants it so much. I need to do it. If I realise the opposite one day I'll almost promise to educate myself and be a good worker for the society. 

I will try not to waste any more of my talents. 

Rebecca

This is a collection of thoughts on the thing which keeps me most busy

I used to wonder about the meaning of life. 

That was a terrible waste of time. 

At least when I realised that there weren't any answers. Not for me. 

I'm non-religious, non-political and non-alcoholic. Just a dot in the universe who randomly became a human being called Rebecca. 

Nevertheless I need to put my thoughts somewhere. And as I'm  still alive with possibly many years to come, I of course concentrate on what I want to do with my insignificant life. A safe way to make quiet days go by in a rush, because my life is an endless root system of possibilities. There is one guideline, though. 

This is all I want. To be happy. I want to be happy.

Sounds pretty simple, no? 

So many people have thought about this, and they're eagerly passing their experiences on. I used to be one who listen to them, trying to adapt it to my way of perceiving life, although it never seemed to make any difference. 

So lately I have become extremely stubborn and of course it frustrates some a great deal. 

One tells me that I need therapy. That I am digging my own hole in the ground. Poor me. 

I feel differently. Because where does happiness come from? And is there any reason to separate the types of happiness and prioritize which is best? Some call a certain kind of happiness superficial. The happiness which is based upon something outside yourself - for example another person - who makes you happy because of your positive feelings towards each other. But the day these feelings break, turning into negative feelings, you will loose your happiness. It is an unsafe kind of happiness. But while it lasts it's pretty nice, right? 

I love being happy. Whether it is superficial or from within me, so here is my plan:

Happiness is a feeling. A feeling is something I feel NOW. It is also possible to look back on feelings to recall them, but the intensity is far from when you felt it.

The same person who is watching me digging my own hole of darkness, is talking a lot about the future. He thinks I need to pull myself together and start realising that it is hard work. And usually in hard work the reward comes after. I agree to some extend, but I'm putting my horses on another place and time. I want to be happy now - at this instant - not dreaming about how my happiness will feel like in a week or a year. And because feeling is in the present it is also impossible to delay. So what do I do?

I choose it! When something bad happens, I look at it from my positive angle, I laugh, I raise my head and shrug. Because you get good at what you do the most. And if you spend time thinking about how to be happy, how to get through some messy feelings and imagining how it will make you happy in the future - this is exactly what you're going to be good at. Thinking, imagining and planning. 

And there you'll have your hard work! Because we are world champions in falling into misery. Blaming others, feeling no good and totally unable to see a way through the clouds of despair. It IS hard work to smile, when friends let you down, when what you've worked on for half a year meets no approval  or when you realise that you yourself is hard to trust. But I have a feeling that it is a matter of practise. 

To me this makes a lot of sense. 

Rebecca