The Forbidden Fruits I Like

He was right behind me. Sliding down the last steps on the stairs. It was dark, but I guess he could still see me. Maybe he just kept the image in front of him. I felt him. His passion was so massive it was impossible not to, even though my sister couldn't see. It is the blindness that comes from trust.  

He was dating her. They were high school sweet hearts and had finally met up again. And this was her party, us celebrating her. I don't think he remembered at all. 

I felt very innocent, but I was flattered. At the bottom of the stairs he touched the naked part of my back between my shoulders. I think I became wet instantly. He said everything not using a single word. Seduced me on the spot. 

He was good-looking, but it didn't matter as long as he made me feel like I did. 

Then came the shame. The not wanting to hurt my sister. Even my thoughts were illegal. Walked on again. Leaving a space between us in the kitchen. Soon after he filled it up again. In the living room in front of my sister and her friends, who still didn't know.

I sat on a backless soft chair. All the time he was behind, completely absorbed in me with a dignity that still made it work. Until some words suddenly slipped from him. Couldn't remember which, it didn't matter. 

And everybody knew. 

I felt like a criminal.

But today I could still feel his admiration as if it actually happened. 

It is beautiful how dreams seem to fulfill your needs when they are most welcome. 

Rebecca