I seem to get involved with guys who master the art of sweeping.
A well-done one takes guts, grace and intelligence among other things. It's complicated.
Nevertheless a stranger did that to me last night. We've never met. We still haven't.
But oh... he did well.
It made me contact my boss this morning after just a few hours of sleep to say that I would stay home today. I needed to get some more sleep, but as soon as I'd put down the phone, his words surrounded me again.
I usually don't lie to people. But how to tell my boss that I couldn't go to work because I was afraid of loosing the special feeling? That I needed to break the routines because I've been up all night talking to this guy?
I wish I were that brave. But I'm afraid that I wouldn't get what I wanted. So I told her I had a stomach ache.
I am an autumn leaf today.
Luckily no wind blew on me yet.
I think I would crush.
It's crazy. Surreal. Mad.
My ex-boyfriend would have one thing to say to this:
- You girls are so easy!
And I would give him one answer:
- We are. Because who wants to cling to a stubbornness that will leave you alone in the corner, while all the easy girls are having the time of their lives with feelings turned inside out?
And he would smile because he does that sometimes.
The stranger and I talked about the illusion of love.
And we were the perfect example.
Not that there is anything called love between us.
But... I find this interesting:
We've never met. And still he's on my mind most of the time today. I don't know how he moves. How his voice sounds like. I only know the words he gave me. But I already have a picture of a whole person in my mind. And I feel as if I miss him.
Doesn't it make one wonder were feelings come from?
He says it comes from our imagination. That love isn't real. Nor is he to me. Or I to him. We make each other up.
Or at least that's how I interpret it.
Maybe it doesn't sound as weird as it feels like.
But if this is true I find it more important than ever to have a good imagination.
Tare down the public, analytic schools! Teach the children how to sense and fantasize instead!
Maybe that doesn't create a wealthy society, but it makes the world go round in a more fascinating way.
I'm off! Don't wanna be late for the next ride!
Rebecca
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